Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.
It takes a journey ridden with hopelessness and helplessness before many get to the point where they decide they’ve had enough and end it.
Over the years, I have shared a lot about my struggle with depression, which is a mental health issue and one of the leading causes of suicide.
When I share my journey on depression, some people can’t reconcile what they read with the image they see and many have said as much. Which is why looks can be deceptive; perception can be false.
For instance for the past one week I have been struggling. Last night I felt like I was falling apart even though outwardly everyone around me could have sworn that I was excellent.
When I share snippets into the unpleasant parts of my life, I don’t do it to seek pity. No. And it is not even an easy thing to do; to share the most painful and most misunderstood aspect of me with you. But I do. And it costs me. Yeah, it does. Like one time someone called me a “bipolar bitch” or another when someone else asked if I had “taken my meds” to avert responding to my question on something she did wrong. But hey, I still share.
I share essentially to help as many people as possible know they can live their lives as best as they can while taking control of issues they deal with including mental health illnesses.
I also share because of many who have asked for help because of my posts on depression and my advocacy on mental health issues.
So when you see my pictures and think I live a good life, I actually don’t. I struggle.
And if there is one person I don’t know about who has decided to #BeatIt because “if Petra is beating it then I can #BeatIt”, then I am happy to share.
It is tough but we can. This me here, this me, I have been suicidal. As a matter of fact, I had gone beyond just the thoughts…. But with the help of therapy and medications I have not felt that way in about 5 years.
Apart from therapy and medications (which I haven’t had need of in over two years), here are practical things I do to help myself:
- I recognize the triggers and extricate myself from situations or emotions which trigger them;
- Filter news and information which predispose me to feelings that inevitably depress me;
- Make every environment I spend a lot of time in favorable for my mental health. And by this I mean physical environment. I make where I spend most of my time in a haven, a place of peace;
- Stay away from negative energy;
- Do my best to not feel like an underachiever. I measure my achievements by the fulfillment I get and not by general standards;
- Be around only those whose aura and spirit don’t depress me;
- Share when I’m overwhelmed, even to the point or whining. Bottling up is dangerous.
It is why my circle is so small. Small but effective. My circle understands me because they understand how it works. So they get me even when I say nothing. My circle kept me alive. My circle helps me live. Have a circle . A proper one.
If you need more help, please reach out to the Asido Foundation, a not for profit organization founded by Dr. Jibril Abdulmalik, a Consultant Psychiatrist, to promote optimal mental health.
More importantly, be #Unashamed to be you as you seek to be a healthier you