I have noticed that when some young people are brought close, they quietly assume they have become part of the problems you were sent to earth to solve. Suddenly, your time is theirs, your money is theirs, your emotional bandwidth is on retainer for free, and your network is something they can casually dip into.
When responses are not instant or outcomes are not immediate, impatience sets in. When impatience lingers, entitlement shows up. And from there, disrespect is never far behind.
Life no be like that o.
What many of you don’t see is that everyone you admire is also carrying weight. Bills you don’t hear about. Family obligations you don’t see. Deadlines, disappointments, health scares, silent prayers, and decisions that keep them awake at night. The calm you mistake for ease is often discipline. The structure you assume came easy was built through years of saying no, failing quietly, and learning the hard way.
We are all going through life. And for some of us, life is going through us too.
The difference is this: some people learned early that you are your own responsibility first. Not your mentor’s. Not your boss’. Not that woman or man you admire from afar. Help is a gift, not an entitlement. Access is a privilege, not a right. Proximity does not equal ownership.
And when you ask for help and it doesn’t come, pause. Don’t turn disappointment into gossip. Don’t convert a “not now” into bad-mouthing. Don’t carry grudges as if someone owed you what they never promised. People are allowed to say no. People are allowed to be unavailable. People are allowed to choose how and when they give.
Respect is not just about greetings or tone. Respect is understanding that someone’s delay is not disdain. That their boundaries are not wickedness. That their silence is not hostility. Respect is managing your expectations so you don’t turn gratitude into pressure and opportunity into entitlement.
Every door that opens to you was once knocked on patiently by someone else. Every person ahead of you once stood where you stand now, uncertain, hopeful, and trying. What separates those who are helped from those who are avoided is simple: humility, patience, and respect for other people’s lives.
If someone gives you money, appreciate it. If someone gives you time, honour it. If someone shares wisdom, value it.If someone opens their network, protect it.And if someone cannot give what you asked for, accept it with grace.
Life is not a relay race where others must carry you to the finish line. It is a personal journey where help may come, but responsibility remains yours.We are all going through life. Walk gently.
Yours,Petra.
May your wisdom never wane nor wither.
Thank you for this oro isiti!
Dear Madam Presido (Petra),
Sincerely speaking, I truly enjoyed reading this. Your words keep reminding me of something I tell myself every day: nobody owes me anything. That understanding has pushed me to step up my game and take responsibility for my own survival and growth. I’ve learned a lot, and I’m still learning. I remain hopeful for a permanent and pensionable job so I can continue life from where I am now, with dignity and purpose. Thank you so much, Madam Presido, for this timely and grounding piece.
Indeed, life is not a relay race, we are all on our races, both the helper and the help. If the helper choses to pause/slow his race to help you that take it for granted.