I turned 44 on Wednesday, October 1, 2025. Birthdays, especially milestone ones, are for me both celebration and contemplation. Beyond the laughter, gratitude, and warmth of the day, I always pause to ask: What lessons have the years taught me that I am carrying forward and sharing?
The lesson this year is simple: Do not cut your nose to spite your face.
This is an old saying, but its wisdom is timeless. In our human tendency to act in the heat of anger, disappointment, resentment or pride, we sometimes forget the bigger picture. We burn bridges we may one day need to cross, sabotage opportunities because of fleeting feelings, or shrink ourselves to prove a point. Yet, the consequence often lands squarely on us; eventually.
Seeing the Bigger Picture
Life at 44 has taught me that maturity is not about the absence of emotions, but about the ability to regulate them. We can feel anger, hurt, or even betrayal and still choose not to act destructively. It is about pausing long enough to remember that the story is bigger than the single page we are stuck on.
In the bigger picture, today’s slight is tomorrow’s lesson. A colleague’s provocation might sharpen your patience. A closed door might redirect you to a better opportunity. A disagreement with loved ones may end up strengthening the relationship if handled with grace.
Ourselves in the Scheme of Things
We are not just actors in our own little plays. We are part of larger stories within families, communities, institutions, and even nations. Every choice we make, every reaction we give, ripples beyond us. To see ourselves in the scheme of things is to understand that our actions matter, not just for the moment, but for the legacy we leave.
So when we choose not to “cut our nose to spite our face,” we are not being stupid but really just choosing to protect our future selves. We are saying, “I will not sacrifice long-term gain for short-term satisfaction.”
A Personal Resolve at 44
As I embrace 44, my resolve is simple: to always see the bigger picture, and to remind myself that my emotions are valid, but not sovereign. They may have a voice, but they must not have the final say.
If you are reading this, my encouragement is the same for you. Pause. Breathe. Look again. What seems unbearable in the moment may be shaping you for something greater. Do not throw it away to prove a point. Please, don’t cut your nose to spite your face because in the end, the face (your future, your purpose, your destiny) is worth preserving.
You do not know the light you carry and how some of us are learning from you, you do not know what you teaches us have positive effect in us . Your aura is comforting and I love it .
Thank you ma for this wonderful piece.
Very instructed and timely for me.
One of my resolve this year as i clocked 31 was to learn to always see the bigger picture in every situation or circumstances i find myself alao to be true to myself.
Thank you Madam Petra ❤️